Tuesday, June 5, 2012

every now and then....

Every now and then I forget..... 

It's just days from being 9 months since Catelyn died, and I still have moments where I forget she's gone.

Inadvertently, something will come up, and I'll think that I'm supposed to pick Catelyn up from daycare, or that I need to make arrangements for someone to watch her because my husband and I both have meetings on the same night, or that I can't run a quick errand at 8:55pm because Catelyn has been in bed since 7....

I don't know if or when those feelings will ever stop, and, quite frankly, I'm not sure that I want them to.  However, the emptiness that creeps in as I realize the fault in my thinking literally makes my chest feel so very tight.

Sometimes the giant steps forward quickly turn into a flailing, backwards, downhill tumble.

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