My Un-Apology (from Dec. 2011)

My Facebook post from Thursday, December 29, 2011 (only changes: names removed):

Do you remember those 'everything I learned I learned from _____' posters?   Well, this is sort of along those lines, but at the same time, it's not.  I guess I feel that I am as good of a person as any to write a statement on grief because I've encountered my own somewhat recently.

What I have learned from this grieving process is that no two people grieve or even think or feel in general the same way about things.  When it comes to grief, people have to do what feels right to them.

Some people wish to cry, some wish to scream, some can't even bring themselves to feel or do anything, some want to talk, and some want nothing more than to be left alone.  Some people can't even stand the thought of eating, and some people eat everything in site just because it brings temporary relief.  Some people stand up for what they believe in, some fall down.  Some rely fully on the people around them to bring them strength, and some think they can do it all on their own.  Some will light candles, bake or cook or eat, write books or songs or poems, draw pictures, create gardens, plant trees, cry, purchase gifts, give donations or even release balloons in honor of others, and some may do nothing because they aren't sure what to feel, think or do.

No matter what people wish to do, feel, or think, they are choosing what is right for them.  People who are grieving are doing the best they can.  There is no right or wrong way to grieve.  People are doing what feels right to themselves in an effort to get through.

Recently, my husband and I have offered that people, who wish to, could release balloons on 12/30 in rememberance/recognition of Catelyn on her birthday.  Some people feel that this is a nightmare - ecologically speaking.  All I can say is that if it doesn't feel right to you, then don't do it.  If you'd like to light a candle, have a birthday meal or a birthday cake or a birthday cupcake or even a cookie, make a donation of some type to some place, do nothing, cry, scream, cheer, sing, or anything else you can think of, then do that.   Our idea to release balloons isn't about doing ONE thing, or even ANY thing, but if you feel like you want to do SOME thing, then pick and do what is right for you.