Saturday, December 15, 2012

we are not experts on anyone's grief

As many have already heard, there was a very tragic shooting at an Elementary School in Connecticut yesterday.  I believe I last heard that 26-28 people died, at least 20 of which, were children.  My heart truly aches for all of the families whose lives have been forever changed by this incident.

At this time, the tragedy is too hard for me to think about in great depth, but a few days ago, I was researching websites on bereavement counseling, and found a couple of really helpful websites:  one is somewhat more geared towards people who want to be grief counselors, and I feel that the other is more for anyone.  Either way, they both have a lot of good information to offer:

http://www.omh.ny.gov/omhweb/grief/

http://www.selfinlight.com/Bereavement.html


A couple of important points found on the former website are as follows:
"We are not the experts on anyone’s grief...we must meet the grieving without expectations about what should happen or what they should be feeling....there are no experts..."  
“Without time to incorporate change, the mourner’s assumptive world is abruptly destroyed. Control, predictability, and security are lost, and the assumptions, expectations, and beliefs upon which the mourner has based her (his) life are violated.”

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