Thursday, November 22, 2012

Thanksgiving...it's harder than it looks

It's Thanksgiving Day today.  I don't feel very thankful. 

Don't get me wrong, i know I have things to be thankful for, such as an amazing husband, a warm house, a cat, a job, a family and friends who love me....

It's just very hard to find reasons to celebrate anything.  Though last year was the first Thanksgiving without her physical presence, there was a great deal of shock clouding the vision of my heart.....so in a way, this is my first Thanksgiving without Catelyn.

This morning I was watching video footage from Catelyn's first and only Thanksgiving.  In the video, she is grabbing tons of ads for Black Friday, and crawling around with them, swishing them around, and then finally sitting to try to 'read' them.  It was so sweet....so simple....so Catelyn.

I have another video from that week in 2010, where she discovered her dad's shoes on the floor, so she picked one of them up and hefted it from left to right, dropping it on occasion, and scooting around with it. 

She was wonderfully inquisitive, and persistent.

So, I guess I'm grateful......grateful to have the technological advances that allow me to keep Catelyn's memories alive, and hear her voice and see her mannerisms.....grateful that Catelyn lived long enough for us to have memories with her.....grateful that she was able to show me joy in the simplest activities.

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