Unexpected gifts

Catelyn's bouquet at the edge of her garden.

Recently, my husband and I attended our cousin's wedding. 

About two weeks before her death, Catelyn was asked to be the flower girl in that wedding, and while I wanted very much to go to the wedding, I also knew that it would be hard to endure.

As we walked into the church, I immediately saw a picture of my baby on a side table, and knew the picture was there to remember her life.  What a special gift.

I teared up as the 'replacement' flower girl walked down the aisle, and tried not to lose it as the bride came down (weddings usually make me teary anyway, with all that love pressed into one moment).  I eventually cried, as one of my favorite songs was sung, but tried not to let it show too much.

After the ceremony, the bride and groom released each of the aisles.  As they approached us, I lost it.  The ceremony was so perfect, the bride was so stunning, the couple was so happy, but my heart wasn't completely in it because I missed Catelyn so much. 

I wondered what Catelyn would've been like as she strolled down the aisle at the church...would she have stopped to greet her grandparents on the way down?  Would she have been too intimidated to go all of the way down the aisle?  Would she have hammed it up?  Would she have remembered to throw the petals down? 

The ceremony was a mixture of silly, sweet and fun.  The matron of honor (sister of the groom) gave a beautiful speech, and mentioned that it was hard because there was someone missing who should've been there.  My thoughts went to Catelyn, though I knew she wasn't speaking of her.  She was actually speaking of her grandfather, but the words were perfect, and my eyes filled with tears yet again. 

At the end of the night, as we talked with friends, and told the bride how breathtaking she looked, we received a surprise.  The bride asked if we had been given Catelyn's bouquet.  I was stunned.  I replied we had not, and the bride handed me a miniature bouquet wrapped in the same silky ribbon as the bridesmaids bouquets.  She said that she had specifically created a bouquet for Catelyn with a butterfly tucked into it, and wanted to be sure that we received it.  My heart was overflowing. 

There are so many details that go into wedding planning, and to know that Catelyn was remembered within that planning was so wonderfully touching. 

Thanks to the thoughtfulness of the bride and groom, Catelyn was still a part of her first wedding.