Well, my birthday is tomorrow tomorrow. This is the first birthday in 2 years I have remotely looked forward to. I was actually getting a little excited, but then I took my dog for a walk tonight.
You may be wondering what one has to do with the other, but I always like to walk the dog past the cemetery. As we approached, I began talking to Catelyn, telling her not to be upset that I am looking forward to my birthday. As I spoke, I told her I want nothing more than to hear her sing the birthday song, and then it hit me. I never heard her sing happy birthday. She died 15 days before my birthday.
Tears began to stream down my cheeks.
Since I missed out on any sweet attempts at "happy birthday dear mama", I racked my brain to remember anything she sang. A memory slowly came to me, and I decided to sing a song from the PBS TV show 'the cat in the hat knows a lot about that' that she knew quite well.
As the dog and i headed home, I envisioned Catelyn singing and dancing, and through my tears, I was able to smile a bit.
Two years and fourteen days have passed since Catelyn died, and sometimes I am still caught off guard by the unexpected. I imagine there will always be tough moments in the years to follow....it's just part of the grieving and loving process.